Are You Considered Single If You Are Separated
By: Tony Tate
Many people go through separation and divorce all the time. But does the fact that you are separated mean that you are single and should be dating again? The answer is no. This is wrong for several reasons. In this article I will talk about 3 of those reasons.
There are legal issues.
Unfinished business keeps you from moving on.
Indicative of the kinds of real issues you have.
Why Separated Is Not Single - The Legal Issue
The first issue facing someone separated and not divorce is the fact that they are still legally married. But the legalities go deeper than the law of man. In the eyes of God you are still married and if you are dating you are committing adultery. I am talking to Christians and non-Christians. The bible says this about divorce:
Jesus said to them, “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because of your hard hearts, but from the beginning it was not this way. Now I say to you that whoever divorces his wife, except for immorality, and marries another commits adultery.”
(Matt 19: 8-9)
If you are committing adultery by marrying after a divorce according to the word of Jesus, how much more are you committing adultery while just separated? I am not saying that Jesus does not forgive such sin but the moral law is clear.
Unfinished Business
Separation and divorce is not over until the paper work is finished – every “I” dotted and every “T” crossed and a judge has ruled on your case. Until this happens you are not single. And to get involved in another relationship is stupid and cruel. You have no right to date anyone or to lead them on until your business is finished.
Any man or woman who gets involve with a married person is a fool. There is no way a married person can move forward with a new relationship. They are still bound by their marriage and the baggage in their lives. He/she will not be able to give themselves to you fully. Also, if their marriage is ending as a result of being with you, what’s to stop them from doing the same thing to you?
Your Real Issues
Some people separate and never divorce. Sad to say in this day and time divorce can be very affordable and easy to accomplish. If you are involve with someone who has been separated for years they have no intension of ever getting a divorce. A person like this will never be fully yours. The fact that they are still in this condition says something about the type of person they are. If they can’t even do what it takes to get divorced, how in the world do you expect them to do what it takes to be in another relationship?
Yes you may be in relationship with this person but how long have you desire to take the relationship to marriage. You can’t! The man/woman is still locked into a previous - though dead – relationship.
Do yourself a favor. Don’t date someone who has not finalized the issues of their last relationship. Talk about bringing baggage into a new relationship. I don’t believe in separation or divorce. It happens though. A successful relationship depends on two people who are free from past troubles and baggage. Dating someone who is married is not the way to get started.
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