Are You Looking For Your Perfect Companion?
By: Melody C.
Are you looking for Love by Design? Well you certainly have
found the right place. A lot of people go through life
completely unconscious and not knowing exactly what they
want to have in a relationship until they get into a
relationship and find that they don’t have what they want.
It’s sad but it’s a true fact that the in our society people
are not trained on how to understand relationships.
Relationships are very simple, they are a mutual filling of
needs and it is usually not until someone gets into a
marriage or a relationship that they find that there are
difficulties.
Usually we marry because of love and lust or attraction or
we find someone who is pretty or handsome or they got a good
job or they have ambition or they want to create a life or
they want to have a family. You may have met them at a bar
or meet them at school and you decide to fall in love and
you have some things in common and you want to have kids and
you decide to get married.
So many people do that when they are 18 or 20 or in their
early 20s up until their 30s now. People are basically
uncomfortable and they don’t really make a Love by Design. A
Love by Design is really ultimately the way to create a
relationship by designing the perfect love for you and the
perfect relationship for you.
Now there are 2 reasons why people break up in
relationships. Dr Rob Bilton, who is the Director/Counsellor
of the Centre for Life Management, co-author of “The Utimate
Love by Design Package” and my life partner) and I have been
counselling couples for years at the Centre. We find that if
you look at all the hundreds of thousands of cases that we
see every year it usually boils down to 2 main reasons why
people aren’t creating the relationships of their dreams and
having their Love by Design.
The first reason is they are not really compatible, although
they may have some compatibility in some areas. Maybe they
like bowling or hiking or going to the same movies, but they
may not be compatible in their visions, they may not be
compatible in their timing or when they want to have
children.
They may not be compatible in their workstyle or lifestyle
or where they want to live. One person wants to go out and
live in the country, and have a small little market garden
in a dairy farm and the other one wants to live near the
beach on the coast of California and pursue their Ph.D.
In this case they have two different visions, it is actually
the visions and the values that are the glue that holds
relationships together. In fact, it’s not so much looking at
each other, it’s looking at the same direction together.
That is what values and visions do. So you may be totally in
love with somebody, and may get a long in some areas, but
you may be fundamentally not compatible.
For example, my partner, Rob Bilton, was with this young
lady Lucie and she was a very lovely woman. However, Rob
wanted children at the time and Lucie had hers and wasn’t
interested in getting children at that time, so that is an
example of incompatibility.
The other reason why relationships have a tendency not to
work out that we see at the Centre is because of people who
are not that functional and are not able to have the skills
that make successful relationships work.
They in fact may have picked up bad habits or toxicities
from their family of origin and from their early
relationships that wreck an otherwise good or compatible
relationship.
So ultimately when you are going out there and wanting to
create a Love by Design, it is good that you screen for
compatibility and functionality. The other thing is that if
you are in an existing relationship, you can see what you
have and see if fact if your partner is functional.
Then you can take action and read some of our books,
consulting or counselling to improve on your functionality
and if you are not compatible in some areas then you can
shift that or you can accept that or compromise. There are
always ways of doing that. If you are really fundamentally
incompatible, (which is something that we will talk about in
some of our teachings on deal breakers), then you may have a
life decision to make.)
Melody Chase is the co-author of “The Ultimate Love By Design Relationship -
Find Out If HE or SHE Is The One For You!”. She is a professional counsellor and
writer who has helped thousands of individuals and couples find and attract true
love at the relationship centre run by herself and her husband Dr Robby Bilton.
Get Instant FREE Access to SPECIAL REPORTS By Melody Chase
at http://www.FamilyAndRelationships.com today! Find out if HE or SHE is the right mate for you at http://www.LoveByDesignBook.com.