Are You Making These Same Wedding Vow Mistakes?
By: Chris Simeral
If you’re one of the millions of couples who have decided to write your own wedding vows, congratulations! You’ve chosen one of the best ways to truly personalize your special day. But there’s a catch. Chances are you’re not a professional writer, nor do you have access to one to help you come up with wedding vows that don’t sound like you wrote them on the back of a cocktail napkin.
When you come right down to it, most people DO have what it takes to write their own wedding vows. But it can help to know about some of the most common mistakes – or “Big Boo-Boos” – most couples make along the way. Avoid these and you’re well on your way to a perfect set of vows your new spouse will love.
Big Wedding Vow Boo-Boo #1: Clichés
After you’ve come up with something you think is perfect, the first thing to do is to go back and check for is clichéd phrasing. Clichés are trite terms that have been used so many times that they have become hackneyed. In fact, the word itself originally referred to clay printing plates used to make books over and over again. You can recognize clichés in your vows, as well as lifted phrases (lines taken from another source like a book, song, poem, etc.), by going over each of your lines individually. Terms which have been done to death will be as easy to spot as phrases like these:
* Dumb as a doorknob
* No pain, no gain
* Out of the frying pan and into the fire
* Push the envelope
* Think outside the box
Ugh! When you run into clichés like these in your vows, by all means replace them with something original. For instance, you could say: “Foolish as a cricket on the banks of a frog pond” (instead of “dumb as a doorknob”), or “Stand beside you in your cause” (instead of “go to the mat for you”). Those aren’t necessarily Shakespeare, but they’re certainly better than before.
Big Wedding Vow Boo-Boo #2: Overuse of Metaphors
The other sure way to get rid of stilted poetry in your vows and end up with a voice that reflects YOUR thoughts is to take out all metaphors and replace them with imagery. Poetry – which is really what wedding vows are — is a visual medium. The only difference between a great poem and a great painting is that you are using words, rather than brush strokes, to create a beautiful image.
Metaphors are a type of phrase where one object becomes another, or “metamorphoses” into it. These are considered weak images because they tend to be intellectual instead of visual. So, don’t say that your beloved “is your life.” There’s no picture associated with that. Instead, find a picture that evokes the feelings you have. Whatever images you use, try to make them as vivid as you can. Mental images are what people are going to remember from your vows – probably even more than the specific words you choose.
Chris Simeral is the creator of The Ultimate Wedding Vow Toolkit, the wedding-coordinator-approved home-study course for couples personalizing or renewing their wedding vows. Sign up for the free wedding vow mini-course at http://www.weddingvowtoolkit.com.