Are You REALLY Happy In Your Relationship Or Have You Just Settled?
By: Tim Connor
Are you really happy in your relationship?
I recently read a study that indicated that 91% of all people in relationships were not happy. Now I can’t tell you if this percentage is true, if it is an accurate portrayal of the average relationship or an exaggeration to get people’s attention. I don’t know the details or particulars of the study as they were not given in very much depth. But the fact remains, that if 91% of the people surveyed felt this way, can we assume that many other people in general who were not surveyed are not happy as well? I don’t like to make assumptions but this number is really scary.
You could be reading this thinking, my relationship is an 8,9 or 10 on a 1-10 scale (1 poor, 10 outstanding) so what’s the problem here? Others could be thinking secretly - I am in the 91% group, but no one knows it but me.
During my life I have been in three categories in relationships – happy, unhappy and suffered in silence and unhappy and did my best to make sure my partner was aware of it.
Consider the following for a minute;
-Relationships are not happy or unhappy, they are neutral and impartial entities created when two people come together for whatever reason.
-If you are unhappy in a relationship could it be that you are just unhappy with yourself for some reason and are blaming the relationship?
-It is no ones job in life to make another person happy.
-Almost all individual unhappiness is the result of unsatisfied or unexpressed expectations.
A few questions;
What do you need in your relationship to make it happier?
What do you need from your partner so you can be happier?
What do you need to give to your partner so he or she can be happier?
What do you need to give yourself so you can be happy where you are?
If you are not happy with some aspect of your relationship is this a reason to blame the entire relationship?
If you are not happy where you are and you change partners do you think that that new relationship will be a perfect relationship filled with lasting life-long bliss and happiness?
Happiness is inside-out. As long as you turn your happiness over to someone or something else you will never find true happiness. In my best selling book, The Road To Happiness is Full of Potholes I share the 40 traits of happy people. If you have never read it, believe me it is a bargain at $12.00.
Tim Connor, CSP is an internationally renowned sales, management and leadership speaker, trainer and best selling author. Since 1981 he has given over 3500 presentations in 21 countries on a variety of sales, management, leadership and relationship topics. He is the best selling author of over 60 books including; Soft Sell, That’s Life, Peace Of Mind, 91 Challenges Managers Face Today and Your First Year In Sales. He can be reached at tim@timconnor.com, 704-895-1230 or visit his website at http://www.timconnor.com.