Are your Relationships filled with Drama?
By: Jodie Foster
Do you have people in your life that like to create dramas? Do they
like to stir up energy and conflict, adding fuel to the fire and
then reveling in it? Do they fit the term “Drama Queen”?
It can be a challenge to be around people who are addicted to
drama.
When you’ve been working diligently to lessen drama in your life
by creating peacefulness and calm, drama can be very noticeable.
It becomes uncomfortable and it stands out to get your attention.
You begin to notice the woman in line at the coffee shop who
doesn’t get the right coffee and proceeds to get so loud that the
entire shop notices, or the man at the convenience store who is
rude and obnoxious to the clerk and proceeds to drag the other
customers into the attack, or the mother-in-law that blows
everything out of proportion so that she has some adventure in
her life, even if the entire family is miserable. The list goes
on and on.
If you are undertaking a healing journey to achieve more balance
and peace within your life, drama comes up and tests you. The
test is whether you chose to ‘Buy into it’ or ‘Move right by it’.
It’s a choice, just like choosing happiness. You can make any
choice on your path. If drama feels uncomfortable to you and
you’ve decided it’s not for you, then move right on by it, but
it’s easy to get sucked into the old pattern- especially if it is
coming from family members. The test is to see whether or not you
choose to see it for what it is: buying in or moving by?
Family patterns have more emotional charge attached to them. You
grew up with this family. You lived with them day in and day
out. You know them better than they know themselves. However,
you also slip right into the family role playing dynamic when you
are with them.
Buying into the drama can happen so subvertly that you don’t even
notice that you did it. Your unconscious habit slid into place
and it just happened, without you realizing it. You may not even
notice until well after the fact. Regardless of how long it takes
to discover, you got caught. You bought into it! Now what?
Awareness is the first step. Becoming conscious to your
surroundings and relationship dynamics is the next step. You
need to pay attention. Become an observer within your family.
Watch how they relate to one another and to you, without getting
too involved in the outcome. You are simply there to be a
witness, not to participate. Think of it as gathering research
or an investigation. You are collecting data that will help you
to analyze upcoming interactions you may be involved in. You
need to begin to recognize when drama addiction is happening.
The addiction to drama is not much different than an addiction to
gambling. When drama is happening in a relationship dynamic,
excitement happens, your body produces adrenaline and there is a
rush of energy. People addicted to drama are seeking that rush
of adrenaline, or the thrill that the rush of energy brings them.
For people that lead a very uninteresting or monotonous life,
that rush of adrenaline helps them feel alive. It’s like a
mother living her life through her children because her life has
become mundane and flooded with boredom. Creating drama means
stirring up the energy. Think of it as a thrill seeker trapped
in a mundane life. Stirring up drama by creating family
conflicts and blowing things out of proportion may be the only
expression the thrill seeker has left.
Even if this is the case, it is still up to you to choose whether
to play the game and ‘buy in’ or choose to see it for what it is
and subsequently ‘moving by’. It is a choice.
When you are looking to create peace and calm within your life,
drama begins to take a back seat. The adrenaline is no longer as
important. Meditation and the energy high that comes from
knowing you are connected and one with the flow of the universe
is more than enough to know that you are alive.
What path do you choose- buying in or moving by?
© 2005 Jodie Foster
Jodie Foster is an Intuitive Counselor who assists clients to create extraordinary transformations in their daily lives. Her work is uplifting, empowering and success-oriented. You can visit Jodie’s website at http://www.illuminationsnetwork.com for further information and to schedule a private intuitive session. You can also look for daily updates to her blog at: http://intuitiveinnovations.blogspot.com .
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