Love Society

By: Kenneth Oboh

Sometimes you may find yourself in competition with other
guys for a woman’s attention. I personally NEVER believe in
competing directly with other guys for a woman. Do you know
why?

Think about it for a second. If it is clear to the girl that
more than one guy is trying to get her attention in a social
situation, what does that say about her social value
compared to theirs. In this situation, everybody will be
clearly acting as though she is the PRIZE to be won by the
best guy. Well, guess what. That situation will naturally
kill any attraction she has for the guys, including the guy
who emerges as the winner in that competition.

Have you seen those reality dating shows where there is only
one beautiful girl and the game is for her to choose from
several guys who she wants to go out with at the end. Well,
when I see those shows, I crack up laughing at the men
competing because they obviously have no idea that they’re
all losers ultimately.

Okay, at this point, you may be wondering why this article
is titled “Getting the girl in a competition with other
guys” if I’m saying that it’s a stupid idea to even compete.
Well, this is the really interesting thing about female
psychology. You see, the best way to impress women is
actually…NOT TO TRY! So, if you happen to find yourself in a
competition with other guys, ironically, the way to win is
by not competing. But there is a method to do this
successfully. There is an actual “science” to winning a
girl’s attention by not competing with other guys and I’ll
now explain how you do it.

Now, this technique is based upon a principle of human
psychology: whenever somebody tries to impress another
person by “bragging” about their achievements; maybe talking
about how rich they are or how clever they are…they are
actually “qualifying” themselves and seeking validation from
the listener. So the listener strangely enough, now starts
to have POWER in the relationship because if they don’t
validate the person doing the bragging, then the “bragger”
will feel inadequate and try harder and harder to get that
validation or “acceptance.” It’s a form of crying for
attention.

Have you ever known people who, when you say for example
that you’ve been to Europe on vacation, they feel that they
just have to tell you about THEIR vacation to the Caribbean
or something? They’re seeking your acceptance or validation.
In that situation, YOU have the power in the relationship
whether to “validate” them or not.

So when you’re in the company of guys who are qualifying
themselves to a girl in ANY way, your job is to get them to
qualify themselves more and more to the whole group. And at
the same time, YOU would avoid qualifying yourself in any
way. This way, you’ll stand out as the guy who is so secure
he doesn’t need any validation but who has the POWER to
validate the others. And trust me, girls really do notice
the difference and will get more attracted to you because of
that.

Now imagine you’re talking to a girl you’re interested in
dating and there are some other guys involved in the
conversation, all in competition with you, trying to get the
girl. You should say things like “Hey, so who’s ever been to
South America before?” or “hey, who has ever worked for an
investment bank, or international computer software firm” or
whatever you think the group of guys are likely to want to
brag about.

But if they ask YOU, just make jokes about yourself that’s
really un-flattering and keep getting them to qualify
themselves even more. But as you do it, start to find ways
of “making fun” of their qualifying and the girl will begin
to see exactly what you’re doing to them…and as a result,
you’ll be revealing these guys’ validation-seeking
insecurities and you’ll find her getting more and more
attracted to you.

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