Common Marriage Problems - Blame Culture
By: Terry Ross
I have found over the years that the ‘blame culture’ is becoming an increasingly common marriage problem with partners seemingly unable to accept responsibility for anything that goes wrong in their life or their marriage.
It’s interesting to note that more often than not when things go wrong it’s always ‘someone else’s fault’! So many couples seem totally unable to accept that common marriage problems and marriage problems in general are usually as a result of several contributing factors.
Common marriage problems rarely occur as a result of the actions of just one person. It’s very easy to lay the blame at someone else’s door and it’s easy to see why that might occur when you consider common marriage problems as a result of say adultery but even a cheated spouse often needs to stand back and consider their part in the whole affair.
Take for example a person who has lost interest in the intimate side of their marriage. Can you say they are totally blameless if their partner pushes the boundaries of the marriage vows and plays away from home? Some might say yes while others who are able to step back from the situation will see that adulterous behaviour can be as a result of common marriage problems such as lack of intimacy in a marriage. Adultery can be a symptom and not the cause of marriage problems.
Following on from the same example you can then work back from the lack of intimacy in a marriage which could be as a result of another common marriage problem such as failing to make time for each other.
If you are prepared to take the time to really consider the cause of an action such as adultery you will often find that in a large majority of cases there is an underlying root cause, perhaps a seemingly small common marriage problem that compounded to such a degree as to result in adultery.
That doesn’t mean that the partner who has committed the infidelity is blameless but what it does mean that they aren’t necessarily the only one at fault. The action of ignoring less notable common marriage problems is generally a fault from both sides and in such an instance where there was a underlying root cause leading up to the final act the cheated spouse cannot lay all the blame for their marriage problems at their partners door.
For more on marriageproblems visit http://www.commonmarriageproblems.marriagehealth.com.