Common Marriage Problems - Life With or Without Kids
By: Terry Ross
It is quite common for couples to get married because they have a baby on the way or because they want kids and historically it was common practice to have children soon after marriage. Unfortunately this kind of marriage scenario can lead to common marriage problems either early on in the relationship or once the children have grown up.
There are two common issues surrounding marriage and children. The first is that having children early on in a marriage, before the core relationship has been established, can put strain on any marriage. The honeymoon period is very short and married life hasn’t settled into the regular routine which can cause marriage problems in any event. If you add babies to the return to harsh normality marriage doesn’t seem so rosy and that’s when the marriage problems kick in.
Dealing with a new marriage, having to think of someone else and learning to live together can prove difficult in any event. It’s easy and common for couples to just forge ahead with baby plans under the false assumption that nothing will change or that a baby will make everything right. That’s where many couples just get it wrong. Bringing a third person into a new or ailing marriage can lead to or compound existing marriage problems to such a degree that the marriage struggles to survive.
The other side of the coin is where marriages have worked perfectly well with the new added addition despite the fact that the couples having little time to adjust to married life before the new arrival. Commonly such marriages work really well for years, in fact there is little in the way of marriage problems until the children have left home and then that’s when the problems begin.
Couples who have known little else other than dealing with the kids for most of their married life struggle once the children have left home. Some marriages can work really well when there is a child at home to nurture and care for but fall apart when it’s back to just husband and wife. The marriage problems start when couples loose direction, don’t know what to do with their time and have forgotten or never learned what marriage without children should and could be like.
The lesson that needs to be learned is that all marriages with or without children need that special marriage time. The time that is just for husband and wife, time to feed and nurture the marriage and not the kids. It is so common for couples to forget about each other and neglect each others needs in favour of work, chores and kids. The lesson is generally learned the hard way when the marriage looses focus and the marriage problems set in. Caught in the early stages children related marriage problems can be easily resolved but the longer marriage problems are left the more difficult it is to sort the marriage out.
Terry Ross is the creator of and the author for common marriage problems