Dating and Seduction: The Three Rules of Dating
By: Sebastian Drake
Dating is a crazy thing. Most people on our
society haven’t figured it out.
But it’s pretty cool once you’ve gotten it
figured, like my good friend and parter Vincent
DiCarlo.
Allow me to share with you Vin’s Three Rules of
Dating:
1) Have it be convenient for you.
2) Keep it inexpensive.
3) Make sure you can talk where you’re at.
Or, if you prefer, The Three C’s of Dating:
C1) Convenient.
C2) Cheap.
C3) Conversation.
This will give you the best chance to get the
girl. Dates that are not Convenient for you will
make you seem like you’re working hard to impress
her, or of low status. For this reason, don’t
drive three hours to see her, and certainly don’t
plan a grand production with a limo and a string
quartet for your first dat.
Cheap! Cheap is good. Cheap is no pressure. A
woman would rather have a pleasant walk through a
park with a guy that’s no pressure than go out to
eat an expensive restaurant that’s heavy
pressure. As a general rule, the more something
costs, the more pressure is involved. Also, women
don’t want to feel like you’re trying to buy
their attention. For these reasons, it’s actually
better to keep dates cheap. I’m not saying BE
cheap, I’m saying go on inexpensive dates.
And conversation, the all important thing that
lets you find about each other. You need a date
that lets conversation go smoothly and easily.
Here’s a pop quiz - What are the two most common
dates?
If you answered movies and dinner, you’re
correct. But both violate cardinal rules of
dating.
With a movie, there’s no chance for conversation.
For two hours, you’re sitting there in the dark
and can’t really talk. That’s all well and good
if you’re with your girlfriend, but on the first
few dates, you don’t want that. And as an
additional negative, movies are getting more and
more expensive these guys. It could cost $30 for
two tickets, popcorn, and drinks these days. How
it costs that much is beyond me, but that’s too
expensive for a first day for sure.
Dinner. Well, dinner’s not cheap. Even cheap
dinner’s not cheap. So she might feel like you’re
trying to buy her attention, which is always bad.
It makes women uncomfortable, and makes her think
you’re of low status. Like you need to buy her
attention.
But here’s something many people don’t realize
about dinner: It’s bad for conversation. You’re
sitting directly across from each other with very
little subject matter except for menus. There’s
lots of pressure, and if the conversation slows
down, it can be awkward, which wouldn’t be the
case in many of the dates I’m about to suggest
for you. Planning dinner as part of a date is no
good, so leave it alone.
Good Dates:
Remember, you want your dates to be Convenient,
Cheap, and be able to have some nice
Conversation. How to do that?
A favorite ‘date suggestion’ from me is coffee. I
like coffee, since you’ve got options. You go get
a cup of java with her on a Saturday afternoon.
If she shows up and turns out to be the type of
girl you don’t like (either she’s not physically
your type on further inspection, or has nothing
going on upstairs) then you can leave no problem.
But if she turns out to be an awesome girl? After
coffee, you can go grab a slice of pizza. Yes,
it’s okay to eat on dates… making your date
itself getting a meal is bad, but if you’re
spending time together and get hungry, go eat.
You’re basically treating her like someone you’re
very comfortable with. If you went to get coffee
with a close friend, or one of your relatives
that you like, and got hungry, you’d say let’s go
grab a bite to eat. No pressure there.
Here’s a great line if you’re at coffee: “You
hungry?” If she answers yes, you say, “Okay me
too, let’s grab a slice of pizza.” If she says
no, you say, “That’s okay, you can watch me eat.”
The second one, in particular, gets wonderful
results and you just eat something light in front
of her and keep conversing.
Other things: Walk around and look at touristy
stuff if you live in a city. Believe it or not,
most people never see the sites in their home
city. I live on the East Coast, and I’ve never
seen the Statue of Libery in New York City, never
walked the Freedom Trail in Boston, and haven’t
been to any of the memorials in Washington D.C.
Of course, I’ve seen all the touristy stuff in
London and Mexico City and many western states,
but that’s the point. If you walk down the road
from where you live to some historical monument,
it’s a great time, and there’s a good chance
she’s never been there.
Of course, if you’re not in your home city, fun
little places still work too. You can have her
some you around a bit, which is good.
As I mentioned earlier, I like coffeeshops.
Starbucks-esque places are okay, but I really
like artistic coffee shops, with different music
and fun things to look at. My favorite coffeeshop
of all time had different music playing every
time I went, interesting local art on the walls,
and one of the large unisex bathrooms had
floor-to-ceiling chalkboards lining all four
walls. People would write poetry and draw
pictures on the chalkboards, or just sign their
name. Let me tell you, my friend, that was the
easiest bathroom in the world to get your date
into with you!
Another date I like: Window shopping. If you walk
through a mall, there’s going to be plenty of
interesting stores. You can have a cup of coffee
if you like coffee (or tea or hot chocolate or
whatever), and walk around looking at interesting
things. One of my favorite shops is a large
kitchen shop with all sorts of cool things.
They’ve got all sorts of crazy cooking
instruments, various pots and steamers for all
different types of cuisine, recipes and sauces ,
cool looking plates, and anything and everything
else you could imagine. From there, it’s really
easy to situationally relevantly talk about what
she can cook, and what she’s going to cook for
you!
Walk into whatever stores you please. Just be
careful with Victoria’s Secret: Vincent once was
in Victoria’s with a girl he was on a date with,
holding up lingerie and talking about she’d look
good in. His date was loving it, eating it up,
but then her friend walked over! Yikes, Vin tells
me the girl blushed pretty hard.
Other places to go: Walks through parks, and by
rivers and ponds. Free or cheap baseball games,
either a local team’s or even a nearby school’s.
Iceskating and rollerskating are actually pretty
good first dates. They’re cheap if you go on
their discount night (it’s Tuesday at my favorite
rollerskating place), it’s convenient for me, and
it’s great for conversation. And by the way, I’m
not exactly the best rollerskater in the world.
In fact, I’ll admit it: I’m downright terrible.
But it works well anyway! I say to her as we’re
walking in, “Okay, I can’t skate at all, so
you’re going to have to kinda ‘be the guy’ and
hold my hand and make sure I don’t fall over,”
said half-kiddingly. And to top it off, when we
get our skates, I say, “You got this one?”
Meaning, “Are you paying?” They do most of the
time, and it sets a good frame.
Alright, so you’ve gone on a fun date or two with
her. First you met for coffee, then walked around
and went window shopping and looked at stores,
had a bite to eat, and parted. Second date, you
went rollerskating or to one of those fun museums
like the Spy Museum in D.C. Now, you want to have
her over to your place. What’s a good date for
that?
Cooking dinner with her.
One of the best dates before you sleep with a
woman. Not so good first date, but after that,
it’s great. Now, I don’t want to hear you can’t
cook - I can’t, either. I make exactly one dish
well that doesn’t involve grilling. But that’s
all I need. I make a spaghetti with a mushroom
and onion meat sauce, and French bread. It’s not
hard.
Learn one dish, or just have a general idea of
what you want to make. Then go over to her place
with the ingrediants, or have her come over to
yours. From there, give her duties as you cook. I
have my date stir the pasta or sauce while I dice
up vegetables and get the meat ready.
After we make a mess cooking, we wash up and chat
waiting for dinner to finish. Then we eat dinner,
and maybe a little fresh fruit at the end. Having
her feed you strawberries is a nice touch if you
can pull it off.
And from there, use your imagination. When it
comes time to bring them to the bedroom, remember
to use situational relevance. So you can either
start kissing her in the living room, then bring
her by the hand to the bedroom, or you can say
there’s something interesting in your bedroom
that she just needs to see…
Sebastian Drake has been writing in the fields of Seduction, Diplomacy, and Leadership for the past five years. In the past two years, he has won praise and accolodates for his oustanding and effective coaching on live programs, workshops, and seminars. He is a cofounder of theApproach: The Science of Social Chemistry for the Modern Gentleman, bringing profound lifestyle changes to any man’s social, romantic, and sex life.
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