How to Save Your Marriage From Burning Out
By: Cat Tobin
Marriages can burnout for any number of reasons. If you’re completely miserable in your marriage, there is no need to give up just yet. Even if you and your spouse have developed a daily ritual of fighting over the most mundane of things, there is still hope for you and your spouse. The key to reversing the destructive course your marriage has taken is to recognize what behavior, or lack there of, is causing your marriage to burnout.
See if you can recognize any of these scenarios in your relationship:
“I’m overworked and underappreciated. My husband doesn’t do anything around the house, yet I work full time, do all the chores, and take care of the kids. I’m going to lose my mind if I don’t get any help around here!” Sound familiar? To begin, it will do you no good to accuse your spouse of doing nothing. It will only offend him or her. Marriage is not a competition, so don’t compare who does more or makes more money. Both of you deserve some time for yourself, so work on a plan together to find ways to evenly distribute the work load. Rotate the household chores each week, and equitably divide the care of the children between the two of you. And always remember to recognize and appreciate all the work your partner has done. Thank them for even doing the smallest of chores.
“I just can’t seem to keep my mouth shut! I let him know every little thing that is bothering me, and it only makes things worse.” You need to start putting things into perspective before you speak. Make a conscious effort to ask yourself if it’s really that big of a deal. If it’s not, then just let it go. If you pick a fight over every little thing, you’re just going to burn out your relationship. So think before you speak. And remember, “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say it at all!”
“When I’m angry I just can’t control myself, that’s just my personality” It’s time to grow up and take responsibility for your actions. You may not be able to change your spouse’s behavior, but you can certainly change your own. You can always improve yourself. Even if you always been the type of person to lose control during fits of anger, doesn’t mean you can’t lean how to manage your anger. It’s time you take responsibility for your behavior, and its effect on your marriage. If you feel yourself about to lose control during an argument, just walk away. You can always revisit the conversation later when you’ve had the time to cool down and rationalize your feelings.
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