How Well Do You Know Each Other?
By: Shei Tan
You must realise to really know a person takes time, and lots of it. Studies indicate that those couples who have been engaged for two years or longer are most successful in their marriages. And presumably they knew each other for some time before they became engaged.
But time is not the only consideration. Important also is the kind of association which you have had together. I have met couples who have been together for almost eight years. But during all this time they have been together hardly forty times, and all these contacts were at formal functions, where people wear their best behavior as well as their best clothes. Actually they do not know each other nearly well enough to become engaged. One problem in connection with separate men’s and women’s colleges is that boys and girls see each other only on week-end social occasions.
Often they have great difficulty in really getting to know each other. By far the best situation is that in which the young people have grown up together from childhood. But this is not for most of us. The best which most young people can do is a few years of group association. They go around for some time with the same “crowd.” Or it may be that they belong to the same clubs, or they have gone to school together.
Here the important consideration is not merely the time span through which such associations have taken place, but the number and the kind of the associations. What kinds of associations have you had with each other? One of the best ways to get to know anyone is to work with him. By this I do not mean merely to work in the same office. I mean to work with him at the same job. Do not be surprise if you see two personalities emerging as you work with your date. You never really know a man/women until you have worked with him/her under pressure. The ability to handle pressure is a reflection of their mental health too. So if you find yourself becoming more and more interested in someone; ask yourself how well do you really know each other?
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