Living Single and Loving It
By: Maureen Staiano
Each day we are bombarded by ads and tips for navigating the world of online dating. If we didn’t know better we might believe that in order to be complete in our life we have to have a mate. Well if that were true, what about all the folks out there living single and apparently loving it?
In 1970 only 7.8% of Americans aged 30-34 had never married. By 2003 that number had risen to 27.9%. The reasons are many, the rise in the divorce rate, the feminist movement and the intolerance by many singles to be married just for the sake of having a partner. Add to that the fact that as people live longer there is a greater chance they will be living that way as a widow or widower.
The plus side is that it is easier than ever to be living single. Though it once may have been the norm to have a two parent household with the rise in the divorce rate many parents are doing the job alone or sharing it with their ex-spouse. Having a child as single woman or adopting as a single parent have found an acceptance today that they might not have enjoyed twenty or so years ago.
Despite what you may have been led to believe single people are living full and happy lives and are not necessarily looking to change their single status. That is not to say they shun relationships, but instead they feel free to not settle for anything less than Mr. or Ms. Right. If the perfect person comes along it is a blessing but if it never happens they certainly don’t feel as though they have been cursed.
Single woman today do not depend on a partner for financial security. She has her own investments, buys her own home and has a family if she should desire. In fact single women are the second largest group of home buyers nationally. Clearly a man does not define who she is for she is perfectly capable of defining herself. As for the single men out there, a woman does not equal a complete life. They are able to create that for themselves.
Many singles feel that marriage is a full time job and for now they have other goals they want to achieve. They have career and education goals that take priority and if a relationship does not interfere with these goals that is fine but clearly a relationship may be a little lower on the list of priorities.
Let’s not discount the population of single adults left in the wake of rising divorce rates. Living single has allowed the opportunity to reconnect with them self, after being in an unsuccessful relationship. Living single can help to define what the appealing parts of a relationship are and what they would not tolerate again.
Whereas it is true that for some people singleness is thrust upon them through the death of a spouse or a partner, for a growing number of others it is a conscious choice. Though many admit it was not their first choice they have come to accept life on life’s terms and pursue nothing less than a full and happy life.
Researchers may have found that married people are happier than single people and even live longer. Many traditionalists may feel that singles are making a mistake by shunning the accepted view of how men and women should conduct their lives, meaning together, for the benefit of society. Despite these beliefs it appears that the marriage rate is slowing down and today’s singles are finding that the traditional married role will not necessarily guarantee happiness.
Living single today includes carving out a life that is uniquely your own. By the looks of it, whether they remain single in the short term or for the long haul, single men and women are finding ways to love it.
Maureen Staiano is a Life Coach specializing in working with women and the unique and challenging transitions we face in our lives. Please visit Maureen at: http://www.achieveyourdreamcoaching.com/