Long Distance Relationship - Distance Breeds Contempt or Love?
By: Michael Douglas
Long-distance relationship. For many this could be the perfect situation. After all, it has the benefits of being in a relationship - complete with the feeling of companionship and emotional support. At the same time, the people concerned don’t have to face arguments that emerge out of itsy-bitsy issues.
Relationship gurus believe that couples who are involved in a long distance relationship have actually better communication, trust each other more and fight less on trivial issues, as they are not involved in the day-to-day life of their partner. This creates a kind of a closeness that is not generally seen in those who see each other daily and squabble over small issues.
But, it’s not all that easy to maintain such a relationship. After all, can it truly be a relationship where you do not actually get to see each other everyday. Not to forget, not being able to help or support your partner when he or she is in trouble? And what about the trust factor can you be faithful when your loved one is not there with you?
Absence makes the heart grow fonder:
Here is what we find out when we conduct a general survey about the same…. Remarks Jasson Morris, a DU student, “Such a relationship varies from person to person. It lasts longer if you give quality time to your partner, without interfering too much in each other’s life. For me, there is nothing better than a long-distance relationship.” Adds Linda Anderson, a BPO executive, “It is undoubtedly a great way of being involved. For me, the emotional quotient of such a relationship is really high and that’s what matters the most to me. But, the problem is that you can’t trust guys if they are far away. So, I am apprehensive about the future since I’m not sure if my boyfriend is really faithful to me.”
History student Carolyn, who is also in a long-distance relationship says, “If your partner is not interfering in your daily life, then you are truly blessed. The best part is that in his absence I can keep having crushes, which I feel is a very healthy sign. It helps in keeping the romance alive between both of us, as I am always in a romantic mood. So, I talk about my partner in conversations with other friends and wear something that reminds me of him.” Adds Jonathan, “I have noticed that people in such relationships are romantics and generally happy. As a result, they spread love and affection around themselves too. On the contrary; couples who are together everyday are often in a bad mood due to constant fighting.”
How to make a long distance relationship work?
Establish some ground rules
Get everything out in the open, so no one feels they are sneaking around. Talk about whether you can see other people romantically and how often you would like to speak to each other.
Snail-mail is an inexpensive way to stay in touch
The recipient can keep the letter and read it any time they need a burst of love. Of course, you can send more than letters. You could send a taped message, or a CD that alternates between your message and some favorite songs.
Arrange to watch a TV programme or a movie together
That way, you can experience the enjoyment simultaneously, even though you’re miles apart.
Don’t fight over small problems
Since you can’t talk as often as you like, everything becomes magnified. Therefore, make sure that you won’t fight over small problems. When you are in this kind of a relationship, avoid fighting over trivial issues.
A balancing act:
But, there is also a school of thought that thinks such relationships are not a good idea. Says Rob Miller, a Commerce student, “How can one even think of a relationship without spending time with each other? Such relationships are based on illusions about each other, and cannot last long.”
Sums up psychiatrist Jeff Smith, “Attraction is a major factor in keeping alive a relationship. A couple that lives together maintains communication, and spends time together that, leads to a lot of closeness between the couple. Also, there are times when you just want your partner to be there and help you out in times of trouble. Keeping a relationship alive is not easy when there is a lot of distance involved in it. That, however, doesn’t mean that there is something wrong if you are in a long distance relationship. Just make sure that your partner feels involved in your life. At the same time, one should also take care and understand the limits and not start ruling the other person’s life sitting in a distant land.”
Michael Douglas is a relationship expert and he is an avid believer of long distance relationship. He owns a website Love-Lectures.com where he provides love relationship tips and free dating advice to help you in building healthy and successful relationships.