Love Advice: Most Women Don’t Want A Fling
By: Tonja Weimer
Are you over the age of 35 and looking for a life partner? Do you want a committed relationship rather than a fling?
Most clients come to coaching looking for a permament, lasting relationship, but are confused about the conflicting messages they receive from dating partners.
There are questions you can ask and signs that you can look for that will tell you if a man is serious about love.
What are the questions you should ask?
Very early in the dating relationship, you need to ask the person what they want and how they envision their life in the future. Most people will tell you the truth. If someone says they aren’t ready for a committed relationship, believe them. If they tell you they have had multiple marriages or partners, ask what kind of personal growth venues they have sought in order to understand their behavior and patterns.
What if you meet someone on the Internet?
Lots of great people have met each other on the Internet. However, without knowing the history of someone, and without knowing their friends and family, you need a certain length of time before you really understand them. Take a year to see them with their close acquaintances and family, and go through the holidays to get a clear picture of who they are. Along with that information, ask the person about their dating and relationship history.
What are some of the warning signs that someone has no intention of ever being committed?
Unfounded jealousy is often a sign that he is doing something that he is not proud of. Other signs are, if he does not want to take you to meet his friends and family; if he does not want to talk about his work; he is always late; and if he can’t give you a commitment about what you will be doing next week.
No one is perfect nor is anyone expected to be. But how your potential love interest responds to your questions; what he does with his life; and what values he lives by, speak loudly to the commitment issue.
It is important that you understand and believe that you deserve a commitment if you want one. Women who are in committed relationships are in them because they insisted upon it. They were not willing to drift along, accepting less than what they wanted to give and have.
Meeting the love of your life takes work. Don’t give up. He’s out there. And…you don’t have to settle for a fling.
Visit http://www.tonjaweimer.com or http://www.singlesdatingtips.com for more tips, skills, and insight on dating, relationships, singles, and love. Subscribe to our F*ree Savvy Dating Newsletter from master single’s coach, life coach, and syndicated columnist, Tonja Weimer. Copyright 2006, Tonja Weimer. (Please note source if reprinting this article.)