Meeting the In-Laws with Comfort
By: Jennifer Jordan
Just when a relationship is going well – the laughter, the romance, the comfort of belching in front of your partner – a great shadow looms over it. This shadow - carrying a one way ticket and a month’s worth of luggage – can only be one thing: your future in-laws.
Whether they come to visit you or you go to visit them, meeting your future in-laws for the first time can be unsettling. You want to be charming and appeasing. You want to be witty and intellectual. You want to be intelligent and intuitive. You want to be free of any giant pieces of food stuck in your teeth.
While meeting your future in-laws seems like a difficult task – as if every pair of in-laws resembles the parents on Everybody Loves Raymond – there are things that can be done to make a first time meeting a little less awkward and a little more comfortable.
Know Your Stuff
Before meeting your partner’s parents, have him or her provide you with a little “Mom and Dad: 101.” Learn what your future in-laws like, what they don’t like, and what they are adamantly against. If your partner’s parents are extremely religious, or unyieldingly democratic, you should probably be given a heads up. This is merely to prevent you from saying things that you don’t find offensive, but that they might. If your future in-laws are unyieldingly democratic, for instance, you might not want to reveal your “Reagan Forever” tattoo just yet.
Be Polite
There is a fine line between being fake and being polite. While you want to be cordial, you don’t want to teeter on the brink of obvious flattery and empty compliments. Convey your politeness by using correct grammar, saying “please” and “thank you,” and offering to help set the table or mix the cake batter. However, don’t be overly polite to the point that it looks like you’re acting: offering to help with the dishes is one thing, offering to paint a China pattern in your future mother-in-law’s likeness is a whole different ballgame.
Don’t Pick Fights with Your Partner
When meeting your future in-laws, keep in mind that they are the parents of your partner, protective of him or her like a mother bear protects her cubs. Because of this, picking a fight with or even criticizing your partner in their presence will not end favorably for you. As you make a negative remark at your partner’s expense, you will find your future in-laws banding together, snapping in unison like a scene from West Side Story. Until you get to really know your future in-laws, don’t try to get them on your side. You see, we build to that.
Show Interest
Your future in-laws, assuming things go well, will likely become your present in-laws. Because of this, you better become interested in them: they will become your family. So, ask about Uncle Bob or Cousin Billy. Listen intently as they talk about their grandparents or Aunt Lila’s sixth wedding ceremony. Ask questions and make comments that let them know you care. Showing interest in someone, or someone’s family, is one of the best ways to make them interested in you.
Meeting the future in-laws can often rank near getting a tooth pulled or a mole removed on the spectrum of fun. Yet, it’s part of a relationship: unless you meet a partner who was raised by wolves, chances are he or she has a family. Meeting the in-laws for the first time is probably the most intimidating: it does get easier. Eventually you may find comfort in the relationship you have with your in-laws – loving them, relying on them, and asking them for money.
About us: FoamSource is a mattress firm out of Boulder, Colorado specializing in Natural Latex Mattresses. Made of organic materials, Natural Latex Mattresses are the present and future of mattress comfort. Naturally conforming to your body, they are specifically engineered to relieve joint and back pain. Hypoallergenic, dust-mite resistant and made with breathable material that regulates body temperature, Natural Latex Mattresses provide you with a worry free night of rest and relaxation. It’s your life, get comfortable.
Jennifer Jordan is a senior editor for http://www.foamsource.com. When she isn’t sleeping on a FoamSource mattress, she concentrates on living as comfortably as possible.