Memo to White House Staff: Please Get Your Ethics Together (and Help Scott McClellan…)
By: John T Jones, Ph.D.
George Bush, the Second, (of WMD and unprovoked Bush War II fame) is still President of the United States. I know some of you still think it is Vice President Cheney, Head of the White House Cabal. That is absolutely not true. I say this with all my heart.
When reading my “leaked” copy of the recent “ethics memo,” I was surprised to learn that Scott McClellan needed help.
Scott McClellan is the White House Press Secretary. To some he appears to be an uninformed press secretary who is destroying whatever is left of the President’s reputation. (I’m being polite about this. Some critics are not mincing words.) Some say he is rude to the press corps. They say he can’t answer simple questions.
True enough!
I felt sorry for Scotty. We didn’t go to school together, so I called him on my new cell phone while feeding squirrels in the park. (I was not going to get a cell phone EVER, but then I learned that you must have one if you ever want to be a WOF contestant.)
The phone rang twice and a sweet voice said, “White House Press Office, Cindy speaking!”
I said, “This is Taylor Jones, the hack writer. Cindy, I would like to talk to Scotty if he has a moment.”
Cindy said, “He can’t come to the phone right now, Taylor Jones, the hack writer, because he is in class.”
I said, “I guess that would be the How to Explain Dick Cheney’s CIA Torture Plan class?”
“Oh, no,” said Cindy. “That was last night at 11:30. No, the Press Secretary is in Ethics 101.”
I said, “I was wondering, Cindy: Who briefs the Press Secretary? He doesn’t seem to know what is going on at the White House.”
“He would if they would let him in the White House!” said Cindy. She sounded suddenly depressed. I could hear her sobbing.
I said, “Easy, Cindy. I didn’t want to make you cry and all that.”
She sniffed and said, “We are in the old Blair House where they tried to kill President Truman.”
I said, “That would have been Oscar Collazo and Griselio Torresola.”
She said, “How did you remember that? Were you alive then? You must be old.”
I replied, “I just read that at: http://www.thenewstribune.com/24hour/entertainment/story/2886284p-11546751c.html. They were members of the Puerto Rican Nationalist Party. They were being patriotic. They were hoping to bring freedom to Puerto Rico.”
“They were before their time,” said Cindy. “We know all about that. Policeman Les Coffelt and one of the gunmen, Torresola, were killed in the shootout. There are pictures on the wall here. The Press Secretary even has a signed copy of Stephen Hunter and John Bainbridge Jr.’s book about the assassination.”
I said, “A signed copy. That would be a treasure, a copy signed by the authors.”
“It would be,” she said, “if I hadn’t signed it. We are so busy here dodging questions that I didn’t follow the Press Secretary’s instructions to get a signed copy. I just went to Valton’s Bookstore. My friend Mary is a clerk there. I had Mary fake the author’s names. Scotty never knew the difference, so what does it matter?”
I said, “Cindy, have you taken Ethics 101 yet?”
“I take it after the White House yard crew. Next week sometime.”
I said, “Cindy how would you like a signed copy of Revenge on the Mogollon Rim?”
She said, “I already have one. My uncle sent it to me from Flagstaff. I have to go Taylor Jones, the hack writer. I see the Press Secretary coming across the street. Oh! That was close!”
I said, “What happened?”
She said, “I’m sure glad he can dodge cars like he can dodge questions. I guess I should have told you sooner but he’s not taking any telephone calls Taylor Jones, the hack writer. I’ve got to hang up!”
I said, “Tell Scotty that I called!”
The phone went dead!
Copyright©John T. Jones, Ph.D. 2005
John T. Jones, Ph.D. (tjbooks@hotmail.com)is a retired R&D engineer and VP of a Fortune 500 company. He is author of detective & western novels, nonfiction (business, scientific, engineering), poetry, etc. Former editor of international trade magazine. Jones is Executive Representative of International Wealth Success.
More info: http://www.tjbooks.com
Business web site: http://www.bookfindhelp.com (IWS wealth-success materials / TopFlight flagpoles)