Online Dating - First Email, How to Get a Response?
By: Jeff Pesarcyk
You have gone through the process of browsing online personals and selecting somebody who piques your interest. Now comes the part when you must initiate contact with the person and see how a relationship might develop. The best-laid plans for contact, however, can quickly come unraveled if the opening salvo is not up to par. The first email that you send to somebody can say a lot about your intentions, your personality, and your intelligence, and it can determine whether or not you receive a response and thus have a chance for something more with them.
How, then, can you increase your odds of receiving a response from the first email that you send? There are several things that you can do to tilt the board in your direction. First and foremost, you should have an understanding of what such “probing” emails usually entail. The people that instigate contact often do not take the time to write out a thoughtful, well-constructed email; rather, their attempts come across as a thinly-veiled and hasty proposition. Thus, anything that you can do to differentiate your email from a slew of others is bound to be beneficial. Take the time to read over what you’ve written before submitting it. Few things say more about the person writing an email than inexplicable, easy-to-catch misspellings and grammatical errors. If you want somebody to take your email seriously, the first step is to take it seriously yourself.
Beyond the surface aspects of the email, its content is what will ultimately determine whether or not you receive a response. Keeping in mind the drivel that the person probably receives more often than not, a thoughtful and sincere email will probably do wonders in terms of vaulting your effort to the front of the pack. As in life, people online are responsive to those who listen and take the time and effort to understand their interests. If they have an online personal, then, make sure you look it over before writing your email. This can serve two purposes. First, an email that at least makes reference to some of their interests and desires will probably resonate more in the recipient’s mind. Second, a more scrutinizing look at a person’s interests may dictate whether or not you even send said email; the last thing that you want is to send a letter based solely on physical attraction and discover only afterward that the person is a polar opposite from yourself.
Finally, try to take some of the ambiguity out of the whole process. The recipient is essentially being contacted by a stranger, so anything that you can do to personalize your letter will help it out immensely in terms of effectiveness. Describe some of the things that you enjoy doing, and make sure to emphasize any similar interests that you might have. If you have a personal ad yourself, it may not be a bad idea to include a link to it so that the other party can see for themselves and at their leisure the type of person that you are. You’ll probably want to refrain from sending a picture immediately (if it is not posted on your personal, obviously) as it can seem a bit presumptuous, but let it be known that you are not adverse to sending one over if the recipient expresses interest.
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