Relationship Advice: Am I Having an Emotional Affair?
By: Jeff Herring
Q:Thanks Jeff for the article on the signs of an emotional affair. Thanks also for the offer of telephone couseling/coaching. That would be good, however I in Asia and so the cost might be prohibitive.
Here’s a brief overview of what is happenning to me: I’ve been married for 5 years now and have three children and a wonderful husband. My concern is that i have developed a close friendship with another man at work who is also married 2 years. We’ve been friends for just over a year now and I’ve been feeling uncomfortable with the way i feel about him lately. Is what I am doing OK or am I about to be in an emotional affair?
A: My guess is that you already are in the beginnings of an emotional affair.
There are two reasons I say this rather bluntly:
1. To jar you out of whatever denial you may be in, and
2. If you are uncomfortable with the way you feel about this person, that is the greatest and most loud and noisy warning sign you could want.
Based on my experience with these things, some if not all of the following things are taking place:
you think about this person more and more often
you look forward to seeing this person
you have shared intimate emotional details about your life with this person
you may have started to spend time alone with this person
These are all warning signs of an emotional affair and you need to pay attention to them.
Here are three things you need to do:
1. Take my RLH prescription, which stand for Run Like Hell!
2. Begin to build an exit door for this person in your heart.
3. Get some individual coaching and some relationship coaching. I have clients all over the world, it’s just a matter of setting up the logistics on the phone.
Let’s get started before you slide any further down this slippery slope.
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