Relationship Advice: Emotional Affair Warning Sign #4 - Sharing Intimate Problems
By: Jeff Herring
Emotional affairs always involve the crossing of several boundaries.
Once you have begun to share intimate emotions and feelings with someone it is not long before you are sharing intimate problems with that person. One boundary crossing is easily followed by the other.
This is definitely another boundary issue.
If you are sharing intimate problems from your marriage with some one of the opposite sex who is not your therapist, you are stepping over the line. You have unwittingly forged an alliance with this other person that leaves your spouse out.
One general rule for spouses is that you agree to keep intimate problems between the two of you between the two of you. There are only three exceptions to this rule. You can share intimate problems between the two of you to the following people:
1. A trusted family member who is on the side of your marriage as well as on your side.
2. A trusted friend who is on the side of your marriage as well as on your side.
3. A professional who is trained to work with your relationship who is on the side of your marriage as well as on your side.
This could be a minister, a therapist or a relationship coach. Be sure this person has training in working with relationships. I say this because while 80% of therapists do relationship counseling, only 13% have training in the field. That is why, in my humble opinion, it’s best to consult a relationship coach.
You may notice that I have used the phrase “who is on the side of your marriage as well as on your side” three times above. Now it is four. The reason for this comes from a very important relationship rule. If you are going to have friendships and relationships outside of your marriage make sure they are friendships and relationships that support your marriage.
Visit http://www.YourEmotionalAffair.com for tips and tools on preventing and/or recovering from an emotional affair, from relationship coach and expert Jeff Herring.