Relationship Advice: How to Clean Up a Conflict in Your Love Relationship
By: Jeff Herring
Relationship conflict can be a scary thing for many couples.
Recently I was working with a couple that was doing pretty well, yet had
a brief conflict earlier in the week. Before we could even celebrate
their progress one of them wanted to jump right in to talking about the
conflict earlier in the week.
I asked them to stop for a moment and consider something: are you
bringing this up to finish cleaning up the conflict or only serve to
stir up the conflict?
How to Clean It Up
“I’d start walking your way, and you’d start walking mine.” - Rio
Diamond
Just as there are many ways to stir up a conflict, there are many ways
to clean up a conflict.
I have a friend that once he has settled a conflict with someone his
last words are “and now we never have to talk about it again.”
Talk about it. Talking about it can often take the power out of a conflict.
Give up your commitment to always be right now matter what.
In a long term relationship you do not always have to see things the
same way. You do, however, have to be able and willing to “crawl behind
the other person’s eyes” and see it through their eyes.
This is a hard one. When you are getting blasted by your partner,
instead of blasting back or shutting down, as “Is there more?” This one,
when you can get yourself to do it, can really diffuse a conflict.
Find a compromise that works for both of you by meeting as many of
each others needs as possible.
Do some make-up kissing and/or making love. This is a great way to put
some closure on the conflict.
And then you never have to talk about it again.
Visit http://www.SecretsofGreatRelationships.com for tips and tools for creating and growing a great relationship. Subscribe to our f-ree relationship advice newsletter as well as our f*r*e*e 10 day e-program on how to enrich your relationship today, from relationship coach and expert Jeff Herring.