Relationship Advice: How to Stir Up a Conflict in Your Relationship
By: Jeff Herring
Relationship conflict can be a scary thing for many couples.
Recently I was working with a couple that was doing pretty well, yet had
a brief conflict earlier in the week. Before we could even celebrate
their progress one of them wanted to jump right in to talking about the
conflict earlier in the week.
I asked them to stop for a moment and consider something: are you
bringing this up to finish cleaning up the conflict or only serve to
stir up the conflict?
How to Stir Up the Conflict
“Stir it up; little darlin’ stir it up” - Bob Marley
There are several mistakes couples usually make that will stir up a
conflict instead of cleaning it up.
Bring up the same conflict over and over, called conflict rehashing.
Bring it up when other conflicts arise.
Beat ‘em with your “angry stick”
Tell other people about it until you get someone on your side. It’s OK
to talk to others to try to get some clarity, but not to rally people to
your side.
Never, ever let it go.
Don’t talk about it at all and let the resentment build and build.
If you recognize yourself in any of these tips, stop. I know that sounds so simple.
Sometimes it can be.
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