Relationship Advice: On Honoring the Differences and Working Together
By: Jeff Herring
Have you ever noticed that you and your prtner are different from each other?
Have those differences ever gotten in the way of teamwork.
In order for a couple to be a productive team, the differences need to be appreciated and honored. The dictionary defines honoring as “to hold in high regard, respect, or esteem.”
A simple 5 step formula
This can be accomplished through the following steps:
1. Having a conversation with your partner about what attracted each of you to each other in the first place.
Both of you probably interviewed more than one person for the position of being your partner. There are clear and important reasons why you chose who you chose.
It’s good to be reminded of those reasons every now and then.
You may be surprised what you discover.
2. Simply appreciating and honoring the differences.
See above, and take it a step further and actually tell your partner what it is that you appreciate about them.
3. Understanding the differences as a matter of “style’ and not a matter of who is right or who is wrong.
We are not talking about moral issues here. Some people approach things in different ways. Our way is not the only right way.
4. “Trying on” the other person’s style, to see what there might be to learn.
I’ve learned so much from doing this. Some things I have discarded, some I’ve kept with me because they work.
5. Understanding they are not in competition with each other, they are on the same team.
Competition in a relationship can be like cancer in the body. Left unchecked, it can kill you.
If you are going to compete, compete to have the best possible relationship you can have.
These steps can make the difference between marital disaster or marital teamwork.
Visit SecretsofGreatRelationships.com for tips and tools for creating and growing a great relationship. You can also subscribe to our f*r*e*e 10 day e-program on how to enrich your relationship today, from relationship coach and expert Jeff Herring.