Relationship Help: Do You Know What Kind of Eggs Your Partner Loves?
By: Denice Moffat
My husband and I just re-watched the Julia Roberts movie, “Runaway Bride.” Remember when Richard Gere said to Julia, “You don’t even know what kind of eggs you like.” Apparently neither did any of the men she had left at the alter. Communication is essential for a long-lasting, happy relationship. It’s easy the first six months when those hormones run wild, but after that, you have to actually do some WORK to keep the relationship going.
Runaway Bride reminded me of how lucky I am to have the most awesome and loving husband in the world, but, I’ve noticed in my practice as a naturopath and medical intuitive, that most people are not as lucky in the relationship area as I am…and their body shows it with the byproducts of emotional distraught through rheumatoid arthritis, allergies, cancer and lots of other manifestations.
So, how do you build a great relationship? I have worked on that over the years (this is my fourth and last marriage.) This is an exercise I share with many of my clients that has saved some marriages, nurtured others, and has benefited all who have completed it.
My theory about relationships is that there are certain patterns we cannot change. To get along and flourish, we need to understand that:
1) Men and women are just different.
2) We each have some male and some female tendencies.
3) We are here to work through lessons, so sometimes it just helps to know what your soul contract is with your partner. I like muscle-testing as a technique to determine how many lifetimes you have spent with each other and what those lessons are that you came here to focus on. It helps to put things into perspective (or not for those of you who don’t believe in reincarnation!)
4) Relationships are where it’s at, no matter how “busy” we keep ourselves with our To Do Lists and jobs.
5) If you don’t learn it in this relationship, the lessons will be repeated until you “get it” through other relationships (take it from one who knows!) We are all angels in each other’s lives, to share certain lessons or be here to support each other.
6) And, finally…Love is all that really matters.
The Relationship Exercise:
Find out what really pleases your mate and commit to do at least three of these things on their list of 10-15 items each and every day to build up that emotional bank account.
Why? Because someday you will inadvertently make a withdrawal on that emotional bank account and you don’t want to be overdrawn! Emotional overdraws lead to divorce.
I guide my clients to download my relationships exercise http://www.naturalhealthtechniques.com/Coaching%20Corner/relationships1.htm and make one copy for each person in the family unit. The exercise includes one of my famous “no brainer” lists, which is a list long enough that you don’t have to think things up on your own…the perfect memory-trigger.
Post your completed lists on the refrigerator. It helps to keep you focused. Review the lists with each other once a day. It’s not what makes US happy we should be doing for our partners and family members, it’s what makes THEM happy. And don’t be pushing buttons when you know what severely displeases your partner. That is not playing fair. You will pay for it later because you reap what you sow.
© 2005 by Dr. Denice M. Moffat
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Dr. Denice Moffat is a practicing naturopath, medical intuitive, and veterinarian working on the family unit (which includes humans and animals) through her phone consultation practice established in 1993. She has a content-rich website at http://www.NaturalHealthTechniques.com and free monthly newsletter.