Relationship Trouble: Complaining
By: Jeff Herring
You complain, I complain, all God’s children complain from time to time. It’s when we complain all the time that the problems begin to develop.
In the words of comedienne Lily Tomlin:
“We invented language out of our deep seated need to complain.”
I really believe that there are those among us who will go to bed each day very unhappy if they have not complained enough during the day. These are not fun people to be around.
The funny thing about complaining is that it usually does not change behavior. Yet we keep doing it, thinking if we just do it enough something will change.
This is a great example of the saying that you are stuck when you keep doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.
Complaining is also one of the sure fire ways to create distance in a relationship.
A solution for complaining
Instead of complaining, learn to make action requests. An action request is simply a request, not a demand, for some type of change in behavior.
An excellent rule of thumb is to never complain without having at least one or two suggested solutions.
An action request keeps the focus on you and keeps you out of the trap of complaining.
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