Relationships and Business: It’s the Same Thing
By: Eric Silver
Successful romantic relationships are the same as successful business relationships. On a foundation of compatibility, trust, responsibility, and shared equity, partners merge talents and resources to do together what they cannot do individually.
Let’s say I am passionate about the ocean, and my life mission is to build underwater habitats that I designed. My wife shares my passion for the ocean, has the same life mission, and has invented technology perfect for those habitats.
Attracted initially by chemistry and compatibility, we merged her technology with my designs to build our habitats. A covenant we made with each other to balance our personal needs with the needs of our mission, without succumbing to trivial desires or emotional impulse, forms the foundation of our relationship.
Commit To A Higher Purpose, Not Each Other
The character and integrity that forms the foundation of successful business relationships is the same as that which forms the foundation of successful romantic relationships. Because the “business” partners are also romantic partners, people in mission-centered relationships should have an easier time living and working together, and get more satisfaction from the experience.
Conversely, when people commit only to each other, each expects the other to be his or her sole source of happiness and fulfillment. Worse, each person may actually believe that he or she can be the other’s sole source of happiness and fulfillment. The frustrating awareness that those expectations are impossible to fulfill often manifests as withdrawal and neglect in one extreme, or nagging and accusation on another. Then, as each partner demands more attention be given to their needs, the roots of selfishness begin to penetrate and crumble the foundation of their relationship, causing what they have built to collapse — or preventing anything from being built at all.
In a selfless, mission-focused relationship, this is less likely to occur because much of their happiness and fulfillment comes from the successful pursuit of their shared passion. More, however, may actually come from the pride and satisfaction they feel, and the personal growth they have achieved, from living up to the very high standards they set for themselves.
Ironically, forming a selfless relationship requires very selfish due diligence. Measuring a potential romantic partner’s character and integrity is not an adrenal process. Cuteness and chemistry are not the sole requirements. Careful, objective observation of the person’s behavior is essential to making intelligent choices.
Whenever you meet someone attractive and willing, there is one question you need answered before forming a relationship:
“What’s In It For Me?”
The answer to this question will reveal how they perceive and value themselves and, more important, how they perceive and value you. The tone of their delivery will reveal the demeanor that will permeate every aspect of your relationship.
Stammering uncertainty leading eventually to an accounting of the person’s physical and material attributes delivered in haughty, “how dare you ask” tone will tell you one thing. An effortless expression of how he or she can enhance your life and that of others, delivered in a calm, “glad you asked” tone will tell you another. Take the answer at face value, and accept it for what it is.
Approaching romance from a business perspective is both intelligent and practical. Clearly defined structure and rules enhance romance. Lack thereof exacerbates it.
Just consider what happens when people divorce; it all gets boiled down to rights and property.
Business.
Eric Silver is the Publisher of OutsidersDC, a a newly created web-based magazine with an editorial focus on people and organizations that “get the job done” without regard for political or social affiliation, and written from the perspective of persons new to the Washington area, not part of any political circles, and whose thinking is outside common norms. http://www.OutsidersDC.com
es@OutsidersDC.com