Relationships Can Trip Us Up
By: Yvette Brooks-James
At one time or another, we have all experienced the relationship that makes us lose control of our common sense, instincts and red flag warnings, almost as if we opened the window and threw them out the window. I, myself, have had a few of them that made me ask myself, what was I thinking?
It is okay to laugh at that last sentence, because I do. The difference these days is that instead of letting any relationship destroy me, I look at it to see what I can learn from it. I find when I look for any situation to teach me something, anger doesn’t follow, but I can thank the person or situation for having come into my life. I know that I am a richer person for having known that person or situation.
In intimate relationships, especially, you can learn a lot about yourself. The key is to ask the right questions. Looking through each relationship, do you see a pattern? Do you seem to attract the people who are abusive? Do you seem to attract those that are emotionally unavailable?
I find that when I have attracted someone, who is emotionally unavailable, it is because though I wanted the relationship, I wasn’t willing to give a hundred percent, either. I let my own fears send out the energy to bring the same back to me. It is true, you bring about what you think about.
It is important to understand your true wants and needs, be happy with who you are and where you are in your own life, before you bring someone else into the equation. Love is the greatest gift you can give and receive, but the most important love you must have, is for yourself.
So, just remember to always look at each given situation as a lesson, be thankful for the lesson so you will not hold onto hurt, anger, or resentment, because the only person those negative feelings hurt is the person holding on to them.