Super Relationship Tips: Plan A "Love" Intervention
By: Virginia Bola, PsyD
The term “intervention” these days usually refers to an arrangement in which a professional counselor organizes a meeting of family and friends to confront an individual about negative actions they have taken which impact everyone present, usually a drug or alcohol habit.
The members of the intervention group describe how they have been affected by the behavior and how much a change in that behavior would mean to them. Amid an outpouring of emotion and guilt, the target often agrees to enter treatment and change their behavior for good.
Why not utilize the framework of an intervention as a positive experience for someone we care deeply about? Too often, we only get to publicly acknowledge our love, respect, and deep appreciation of what knowing them has meant to our lives in a posthumous memorial eulogy.
Pick a day - a special occasion such as a milestone birthday, a retirement, a graduation - or any non-occasion day. Invite everyone who knows and cares about your partner and review with them what you have planned.
At the party, announce that this is a love intervention. There is no desire to change negative behaviors but simply the opportunity to give feedback, face to face, about how much they care for your partner and that individual’s positive influence on their lives.
Start off the love fest with your own words of appreciation, gratitude and love. Your partner may be embarrassed (if overly so, adjust by making the party a “roast” which may be easier for some individuals to handle) but it is also an experience to be remembered and savored for life.
We all need to know that we count, that our existence has meaning, and that those who surround us feel a deep affection and acceptance of who we are.
Dr. Virginia Bola is giving away complimentary copies of the remarkable little e-book: “Seven Super Simple Tips: Keep Your Marriage Fresh” for which this article serves as part of a follow-up mini-course. To download your copy and related gifts, visit: http://www.graburl.com/x.php?1cs.