The American People want blah, blah, blah
By: Robert Crane
Sean Hannity insists he knows. Al Franken often speaks for us. President Bush and Dick Cheney always seem to be crying our collective thought. Senator Kerry claims he is our spokesperson. They and their ilk unapologetically will tell anyone anywhere anytime what “the American people” want, as if they really know, as if it is fact.
The last time I checked, I was an American and still believe to be so as I write this. And I have to tell you, not one of these knuckleheads knows what I want. And when I hear a politician or a media propagandist start a self serving opinion with the words “The American people …”, I want to jam hot pokers into my ear canals. I wish they would just shut up about the American people. They don’t know what the American people want because it is a myth to believe that there is some kind of unanimous American position on anything.
Let’s take a simple example, one in which all victorious Presidential campaigns indulge in one way or another. To do so though, I have to turn one of my favorite targets, Press Secretary Scott McClellan. He was being nagged during his press briefing the day after the 2004 Presidential Election to identify the issue that brought a record number of people to the polls. Scott, as only Scott can do, answered the inquiry with the following (pulled from the transcript in its entirety; i.e., full context):
“No, I’m not (going to comment)– there’s going to be plenty of time to do a post-election analysis of all these issues. There was a very clear choice in this election, and the American people spoke at the ballot box with an overwhelming — with overwhelming support for the President and his agenda. That is clear from the results.”
The overwhelming voice Scotto and the legions of talking-point pundits were referring to that day was the 51% of the popular vote Bush received over the 48% John Kerry obtained. Or possibly they measured the overwhelming majority by the final electoral count.
Well here is a fact. If John Kerry could have grabbed just 51,000 of the votes Bush received in Ohio, he would be president today—granted he would have won without the popular vote buy hey, President Bush knows all about that. Given that President Bush’s campaign played the wartime president card, something that supposedly strikes the fear of change into the hearts of voters, it is hard to imagine proclaiming overwhelming support for “the President and his agenda” without a hint of a smile on one’s face.
But forget all that. Let’s say a 3% margin is some sort of mandate as Scott would have us believe. Or let’s say the infamous map of red counties versus blue counties is some sort of clear statement. Is it still fair to proclaim the “American people spoke”?
Well that depends on how you define American people I guess. I define Americans as people who are legal citizens of United States. I’m not sure there is a better answer. The truth is that of the 220,400,000 legal U.S. citizens over the age of 17 (i.e., potential voters, as documented by the 07/2004 census), a little more than 28% voted for Bush, a little less than 27% voted for Kerry, under 1% voted for other candidates, and over 44% chose not to vote at all. A whopping 44% did not participate! And this was a record turnout!
Is Chris Matthews speaking of them when he makes a claim for the American people? Is Ann Coulter proclaiming their needs with her know-it-all assertions?
For once in his life, if McClellan could have spoken frankly and truthfully, he would have had to say something like:
“There was a very clear choice in this election, and 44% of the American people chose not to make a choice. There is no agenda that has overwhelmingly captured the attention of those Americans. That is clear from the results.”
If there is any generality that can be drawn, it is that a significant proportion of Americans don’t speak with a flip of a lever or the punch of a card or the check of a box. I suspect they don’t watch FOX or CNN or C-SPAN, nor do they participate in their polls. I suspect they don’t read the NY or Washington Times either. One thing I know with certainty: no one speaks for them, no one speaks for me, and I suggest no one speaks for you.
So the next time someone tries to tell you what the American people want, simply replace the phrase “the American people” with “I” or “me” and you will understand the buffoon’s real agenda. Then shove hot pokers into your ear canals.
This article was written by humorist Robert Crane. If you like what you read, please visit his popular (as in double secret probation cult popular) website:
http://www.cranelegs.com