The Best First Date
By: Yair Czitrom
First dates cause anxiety and thoughts of disastrous and embarrassing moments. We all dread the awkward but necessary first date. It comes with the territory when looking for love. But it isn’t necessary to feel this way. You can have the best first date experience with every new person you go out with from now on. Here are a few tips on how you can actually enjoy yourself and possibly make yourself even more attractive on each first date.
Don’t bring your expectations or baggage with you. The last thing your date wants to hear about are your past relationships, ex’s and the problems you had with other people. You not only sound like a whiner who can’t let go, but you also make yourself sound critical. If you also list what you think a relationship or person should have been, you are setting the other person up for failure because you are obviously judgmental. Your past is your past and it should stay there. You are with a person who has many aspects of their personality you can spend countless hours exploring. Look at it as an adventure instead of like a job application. Enjoy each new thing you learn about the person even if you know you don’t want to see them again. You never know what you will learn or if you have found a new friend.
When you leave to meet your date, remind yourself that you are your own person and this is a great opportunity for someone to get to know who you are. You are a person with dreams, ideas and intelligent thoughts that can share so much with the right person. Walk into your date comfortable in your own skin. Maintain your happy composure and keep the conversation light but honest.
Don’t talk about yourself in any negative terms. If you point out what you consider to be your shortcomings and flaws, they will be seen. They might have only been visible to you before you called attention to them. You will also be obvious in your insecurities and this can make other people feel uncomfortable. This is not a feeling you want someone you are interested in to associate with you.
While it is absolutely acceptable to participate in conversation, remember to be just as good a listener. It means so much to people when they feel as if they have someone’s undivided attention and they are important enough to have your focus. When making a comment on a topic or answering a question, you are letting them know you find them interesting and worth the time and thought. This courtesy is not always noticed on the surface, but when they think back on the date, they will feel as if you truly cared about who they are and what they have to say.
Finally, show them that you have a sense of humor and have fun. Laughter and humor is attractive on its own and can only help ease the tension of a stressful meeting situation. While you might not meet ‘the one’ on your next first date, you will know you gave it your all and the next one won’t be so bad.
www.jaters.com - Free Jewish dating, Jewish singles & Jewish matchmaking service
Yair Czitrom is the owner and webmaster of http://www.jaters.com - An experienced online dater that took his dating knowledge and web skills to help other daters/singles.