The Difficulty of Getting Married
By: Vlady Peters
Since the beginning of time, Governments seemed bent on curbing the enthusiasm of the people they ruled. As soon as they noticed people enjoying themselves, it was let’s hasten to the House of Commons and see what we can do about it. Most particularly, they seemed to be for ever meddling with the matters of the heart, wanting to tell people how old they should be before they got married, what place they should select in getting married, and sometimes even what spouse they should choose in order to get married.
In the case of England and Wales of 250 years ago, they insisted that young people wait till they were 21 before the idea of marriage entered their heads. To ensure that everything was on the up and up, the upcoming marriage also had to be made public some weeks before so that anyone knowing of some hidden spouse could make this fact known. And lastly, the only place that the actual marriage could take place was the church, with a properly appointed minister inside it.
Not to seem too heavy-handed, the powers that be did suggest that if you simply couldn’t wait till you turned 21 you could seek your parent’s permission. And as for the rest, if you had the money to buy a special licence which would cost you an arm and a leg, you could get around some of the other points of law.
To the 18 year old 21 seemed as far away as the next century. And as for parental consent, forget it. Ever conservative, a parent never saw anything but practical common sense in the whole legal arrangement.
Across the border of England to the north, lived the good people of Scotland who saw and felt for the plight of the lovers. Themselves refusing to be bound by the idiosyncrasies of the English law, they continued to allow civil marriages which required nothing more than the couples declaring before witnesses their wish to be married.
So the chant of all couples in a hurry to be married was, ‘Let’s to Scotland’. And since Gretna Green was right on the border of Scotland and England, Gretna Green became the town you drove to when marriage was on your mind and you didn’t want to wait to satisfy all the rules and regulations of the English legal system.
Since at Greta Green any venue would do, the local blacksmith who was usually on hand to see to the horses and the coach from which the passengers alighted, was usually only too willing, and always able, to help out. A bit of a showman, as the couples finished their vows, he would strike the anvil with his hammer and would call out something in Scottish dialect which may or may not have been, ‘By the strike of this anvil you are wed’.
It would be pleasant to think that these happy events have survived right to our day. But, in fact, such is not the case. Sure you can go to the romantic Gretna Green to make your vows to each other. But law and order has a long reach, and it has as much of a stronghold in Scotland now, as it has everywhere else.
Vlady Peters is an Australian Civil Marriage Celebrant authorised to perform marriages in Australia. She also perform general ceremonies such as Baby Naming, Renewal of Vows and Commitment Ceremonies. To learn more about her as a celebrant and an author visit vlady at http://www.weddings-celebrant.com