The Dog House: You Don’t Want To Be There
By: Catherine Ipcizade
You didn’t mean to fight with her. You didn’t even know you upset her until a day later when she sent a courier to your apartment with a box full of your “stuff”. So what can you do to make things right again?
Men and women may not be from different planets, but let’s face it, their communication is. Men tend to speak from their heads. They see a problem, and they want to fix it. That’s where the handyman comes in. Tell a guy you’ve had a bad day and he’ll tell you how to turn it around. Tell him your meeting with the big boss is coming and you’re stressed out and he’ll want to go over interview skills with you. Guys are inherently problem solvers. That works great – until women get involved.
The female mind is a mystery unto itself. Only women can think of 50 things at the same time while juggling several tasks together. And although women too enjoy problem solving, when a crisis is at hand, they lead with their hearts. When a woman has a bad day, she wants to be listened to. When she tells her guy about that big meeting with the boss, she just wants him to sympathize. She doesn’t need the pointers. If she does, she’ll ask for them outright. What she needs to know is that her man cares.
If your girl comes to you with a concern in your relationship, the best thing you can do is to give her your full attention. Resist the urge to jump in with rationales and solutions. Instead, try taking her hand, looking directly into her eyes, and actively listening. Chances are, she’ll appreciate the effort and you’ll both be able to enjoy your day together.
It can be hard to deal with your girl’s emotions, especially if she’s the sensitive type. A little patience can go a long way in this department. Validate her feelings and you won’t get stuck talking ‘till 3a.m.
When you’re already in the doghouse, here’s a foolproof way to fix it fast – Be sincere. That’s it. Flowers are nice, sure, but they don’t say what she needs to hear. She needs to know that you care, that you want to listen to her, that her needs matter to you. Give her that and you’ll be back in her arms in no time.
Catherine Ipcizade is a freelance writer living in California. She has published more than 350 articles on topics including relationships, marriage, parenting, and food. Catherine also writes for children.