The Vocations Top Ten Lists
By: Eric Engel
In light of the shortage of priests and nuns, I think it might be beneficial to list some of the advantages of such vocations. They are, after all, comparable to marriage. And (with a spirit of jocularity), we can see lots of reasons a guy might choose to marry the Church, and a woman might choose to marry Christ.
Top Ten Reasons for Young Men to Become Priests Instead of Getting Married
Your bride won’t have a monthly irritability cycle.
Your bride will come home from BINGO with more money than when she left.
As a priest, where ever there is sin, you are needed. As a husband, where ever there is sin, you are forbidden.
In defense of your faith, you’ll study and learn other religions inside and out. In marriage, men are forbidden to study any other woman.
Religious documentaries might be boring, but you’ll never be forced to sit through a chick-flick.
You’ll preach your homily to a silent crowd. No one ever hears a husband preach over his wife’s arguments.
The church won’t undergo a complete personality change the day of your ordination.
Your bride won’t wake you in the middle of the night to ask you what you’re thinking, tell you she heard something, ask you if you remembered to lock the door, or hash out a week old argument.
Your bride won’t mind if you have gas.
Your bride will never have a headache.
Top Ten Reasons for Young Women to Become Nuns Instead of Getting Married
Your husband won’t lie about where he’s been all night.
Your husband won’t make crude noises or emit foul smells.
You’ll enjoy talking to your husband any time you feel like it…and he’ll actually listen.
Your husband won’t embarrass you with idiotic remarks in polite company.
Your Mother-in-Law won’t constantly remind you that you’re not good enough for her son.
You won’t get any grief for having cold feet or rear end at night.
The wedding won’t turn your husband into an insensitive, cold hearted jerk.
Your husband won’t mind wrinkles and old age.
You won’t have to listen to someone complain about your habit(s).
Your husband won’t mind if you have a headache.
Written By Eric Engel, chief editor of The Catholic Letter at http://thecatholicletter.com.