Things to Think About for Beginning to SWING
By: Julia Tanner
Let’s put aside those fantasies for a moment, and talk about the logistics of beginning the adventure of swinging. And I know you have many—fantasies that is.
First of all, why are you getting into swinging? Are you looking for a little sex on the side of your relationship? If you are, you may be disappointed in the long run. Swinging is so much more than a cheap thrill.
This isn’t a way to have sex with more people, but a way to safely live out some fantasies with someone that you love. So, stop and think about this good and hard before you try it out.
Experience does count
You want to talk with other swingers to see how the lifestyle actually is. Chances are that you’ll hear about all of the positive aspects, but also the real life consequences.
You can either check out the local swingers club or sign up online with an online dating resource to ask questions or read their advice. There are hundreds of books that you could purchase and read as well. This isn’t something to go into lightly.
It’s fun, no doubt, but having real expectations will make it even better for you, your partner, and everyone else involved. And you can have so much fun looking into it. Turn down the lights and use your imagination…
Are you strong enough?
How’s your current relationship? If you’re on your own, how’s your mental state? What is your reason for trying swinging? Are you having problems and think that trying something new will help? Wrong answer.
If you already have problems—either on your own or in a relationship– trying out swinging, then you may actually multiply the problems that you have. If jealousy is a tiny problem in your relationship, then swinging will only magnify it. If you can’t communicate with your partner, then you may not be able to say what you want or how you’re feeling about something that you’ve done or want to do. And the distance between you will only grow.
You need to have a strong commitment to yourself and your needs, as well as be able to talk things out as they come up.
Safety is key
Just because you’re ready to swing and think that everything and everyone is safe, you are wrong. You have to be ready to discuss sexually transmitted diseases and how you’re going to protect yourself and others. Have yourself tested and talk about what kinds of protection you will use. I know that this isn’t a very sexy topic, but neither is AIDS and everything else out there.
If you are uncomfortable talking about protection, then you aren’t ready to swing. When you involve another person, you have to be considerate of their health, as well as your own.
When you’re thinking about swinging, approach it like you would any other big decision. You wouldn’t buy a car without looking at the details and the price, so why barter your body and your fantasies any differently?
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