Throwing Your Romance Into High Gear
By: Mary Jensen
Once you’ve found Mr. or Mrs. Right, you want to throw the romance machine into high gear. You need to be careful though. As in driving, you want to let off the clutch slowly. If you don’t, chances are high that the relationship will stall. You have some critical decisions to make. Here are your main options:
Keep cruising at the same speed. This one is easiest. You keep the relationship the way it is, waiting for the other person to make the first move. There is a chance that they will pick up the vibe and initiate the next step. More likely, however, they are unsure of your feelings or afraid to take things to the next level. You risk the possibility of someone else coming into the picture and stealing them away. It may not be too late to get them back, but it will be a lot more difficult and you’ll definitely have to shift up to the next gear.
Let off the clutch too quickly. Do not jump the gun! Chances are, it will backfire. You don’t want to stall the relationship. If this is the first time you’ve mentioned a lifetime commitment, it could very well scare them away. It may not kill the romance completely, but you’ll have to tread carefully and work yourself back to the same speed before attempting to take it further.
Let off the clutch slowly, easing into a higher gear. Ideally, this is what you want. Gradually show more interest, get a feel for what they want, and increase the intimacy. Not the physical kind, but the emotional and intellectual. You want to be very open with them, not putting pressure for a decision, but making it clear what you want. Yes, there’s a chance they are not ready for a long-term or don’t feel the same way about you. But you have the advantage in the fact that they know where you stand. You have planted the idea in their head. Whether they want to or not, they will consider your words. If they later decide they are ready for a serious relationship, it will be easy to pick up at the level you left off. There is always a chance that they blow you off completely and the relationship completely falls apart with no chance of getting back together. But you won’t be left wondering if there was anything more you could have done. You are free to leave the doubts behind and move on.
I’ve experience all of the above, from both sides of the relationship. Take my advice. Please, just let off the clutch slowly, for everyone involved.
Mary W. Jensen is an author on http://www.Writing.Com/
which is a site for Creative Writing.