Tips For The Perfect Best Man Speech
By: George Chilton
Free Tips for Writing The Perfect Man Speech
Now I’m not going to lie, being a really good Best Man is difficult. You have a million things to do; the rings are in your pocket, you have to keep the groom sober enough to slur ‘I do’ and then, to top it all, you’ve got to stand up in front of everyone and make them laugh! But breathe easy, it’s not as hard as you think.
I am going to give you the steps you should follow to write the perfect Best Man speech. And then I’m going to give you the things to avoid! But first, remember, the golden rule – of any public speaking task – is Don’t panic!
People are waiting for you to stand up and make them laugh. But this, believe it or not, is an advantage. Have you ever sat in an audience and wanted the speaker to fail? No, I thought not. Everyone in the room is on your side, and they are all there with you in support of the two most important people in the room. They have been with you all day and they know you and you know them fairly well by now. Be confident, because you are the Best Man and you have been chosen for this very reason. If that doesn’t help you, please remember the guests have plenty of wine - and if wine does anything, it makes people laugh.
This is a rough guide, so please don’t feel constrained. If you want to do it differently it should be fine. Just steer clear of OTT material!
The Do’s
Begin with Compliments and Thanks
If you want to be traditional you should probably start with compliments. Thank the bride and groom for their gifts, thank the ushers and page-boy and make sure you say how pretty the brides maids look – even if they don’t!
Talk to the room and the couple If you speak to the room and maintain eye contact it is hard for people to fall asleep. It makes you more personable and confident. Also talk to the bride. Make sure you show that you approve of the Groom’s choice – for the moment she feels like a princess – so let her be one!
How you know the Groom
How you know him, how you became his best friend, how you met his wife, etc. Any amusing stories pertaining to your experiences together are a bonus. Remember – people want to be amused. Add some sincerity, what and honour it is to be chosen, etc. But don’t over-do it. If you go too far people will feel uncomfortable.
I’ve also got to know Sarah over these past few [years]. And I’m pleased to say I approve. She has a wonderful sense of humour – she must do– she‘s just married John!
Embarrass the Groom
You have to be funny! Mockery works and talking about his embarrassing escapades is a plus, be careful you’re not nasty though. If you’re struggling for material look to the stag-do. Even if it was a quiet night in (you’ve done something wrong if it was) hint at the groom’s amusing antics. Don’t go too far though. The room is mixed – children and old ladies (and the bride) don’t need to hear about the STIs he contracted in his pre-married life!
Be sincere
Yes, you have to be funny, mock the groom and make people laugh…but that’s not enough. You have to show sincerity. A good way to do that is to make a joke and then follow it up with something heartfelt, for example:
[Look to the groom]
I’ve known Sam for a very long time. The stuff we’ve seen together, the places we’ve been.
[Look to the audience]
I have seen this man drink from a bottle. In fact, I’ve seen him drunk, I’ve seen him fall off a stool. I’ve seen him run through a town-centre naked. I’ve even had to clean up after him and put him to bed…and that was only last night! But now, I see him happy. And who wouldn’t be with a beautiful bride like that?
The Burgeoning Relationship How did they meet? Say how much you approved, when you realised that it was serious. Jokes here are advised. You don’t want to go overboard though, ‘I knew it was serious when he started washing regularly…’
This might feel a little soppy – but it’s expected. It is their big day after all.
Reading and Toast
Read any letters and mention absent friends. End with the traditional toast ‘To the Bride and Groom’
The Don’ts
Don’t get drunk!
Whatever you do…stay sober! There is nothing worse than watching a man slurring through his speech. You might think you’re being hilarious, but your timing, diction and poise will all be affected negatively. If you must have a drink do so, but refrain from over-doing it. It’s going to be caught on camera – do not disappoint the room, this is your once in a lifetime best-man speech. You want to remember it!
Don’t read directly from the page
It is a temptation to hold the paper in front of your face, or to look down into your hands. Notes are acceptable, even comforting, but the minute you start to read is the minute you lose your audience. Even the most fluent reader sounds unnatural. Practise speaking from notes, then speak from bullet points. If you’ve done this enough you will be able to talk to the room like a natural. If you get stuck the bullet points will jog your memory.
Don’t talk about disastrous Ex-girlfriends
It’s tempting, I know, but you’ll only serve to upset the bride and that is definitely not your job!
Don’t insult the Bride! Why do wedding dressing come in white? Because they match the kitchen appliances.
It’s a bad idea to be un-politically correct. The bride is not an object of fun on this occasion. By all mean humiliate the Groom (within reason), but shower the bride with compliments!
Don’t be exclusive
In-jokes might entertain you and a few others, but everyone else is in the dark. You’ll lose your audience if you don’t speak to them.
Give it a go, you’ll surprise yourself. If you’re stuck give us an e-mail and we’ll see what we can do for you. You may also want to have a look at the Herds of Words article Tips for Easy Speech Writing.
George Chilton is an experienced Advertising and SEO copywriter at Herds of Words. He has fourteen years experience as a magician and public speaker and can be contacted at george@herdsofwords.co.uk.
Or come join the herd at Herds of Words Freelance Copywriters.