Verbal Abuse Defined
By: Dorothy M. Neddermeyer, PhD
Verbal abuse in many ways is built into our culture. One-upsmanship, defeating, putting down, topping, countering, manipulating, criticizing, over powering and intimidating are accepted as fair game by many. When these power plays are enacted and denied by the perpetrator, confusion results.
This crazy making experience results in the following:
1. Feeling temporarily thrown off balance and momentarily unable to right oneself.
2. Feeling lost, not knowing where to turn, searching aimlessly.
3. Being caught off guard.
4. Feeling disconnected, confused, disoriented.
5. Feeling off balance, as if the rug had been pulled from under one’s feet.
6. Receiving double messages but somehow unable or fearful to ask for clarification or asking for clarification and not getting it.
7. Feeling generally ‘bugged’ by the simple presence of a person.
8. To discover that one was mistaken in one’s evaluation of where one stood or what it was all about.
9. Feeling totally unprepared for a broken promise or unfulfilled expectation.
10. Experiencing the shattering of an important ‘dream.’
11. Where one assumed goodwill, ill will seems to prevail.
12. One feels pushed around, not in control of one’s feels or desires.
13. Unable to get off redundantly spinning circles of thoughts prompted by confusion.
14. What seemed clear becomes muddled at the next conversation.
15. An uneasy, weird feeling of emptiness—feeling disconnected from self and others.
16. A strong wish to get away, yet feeling unable to move, unable to find safety or solace.
17. One is befuddled, not able to reconcile or resolve feelings or issues.
18. Feeling vaguely suspicious that something is wrong.
19. Feeling the one’s subjective world has become chaotic.
Healing the wounds of emotional abuse is possible. Talk therapy focuses on finding better coping mechanisms for symptoms and is inadequate to uncover the emotional pain, and heal the trauma trapped in muscles and tissue. A multifaceted healing process specifically focused on the various forms of emotional abuse and diligent work is the most effective; wherein the survivor can replenish their emotional and spiritual identity and empowerment.
Reference: You’re Driving Me Crazy by Dr. George R. Bach and Ronald M. Deutsch, 1980.
Dorothy M. Neddermeyer, PhD, author, “If I’d Only Known…Sexual Abuse in or Out of the Family: A Guide to Prevention, specializes in: Mind, Body, Spirit healing and Physical/Sexual Abuse Prevention and Recovery. As an inspirational leader, Dr. Neddermeyer empowers people to view life’s challenges as an opportunity for Personal/Professional Growth and Spiritual Awakening. http://www.drdorothy.net