Want the Woman of Your Dreams? Convey 8 Things
By: Barrett Solberg
The following is an abridged version of the complete feature available in the StraightRazr eBook, “Revealing the Secret to the Greatest Ice Breaker Ever.”
The eBook contains detailed material to help you master these eight components. They are provided here for you in their most basic terms.
Well, actually 8 things right away in the ice breaker stage to build attraction.
The rest will take care of itself.
The 8 components of building attraction are:
1. Interest/Something Unique/Offbeat
2. Challenge
3. Testing/Confidence
4. Excitement
5. Playful sexual intrigue
6. Appropriate intimacy
7. Comfort.
8. Humor.
1. Interest/Something Unique/Offbeat
Women by nature are perceptive creatures. They are aware of their surroundings, and modern women have a pretty high threshold of boredom. By all that I mean if you were to look at what appeals to them as a continuum – on one extreme you’ll find lame and boring topics – weather, work, how expensive things are, your family, blah blah blah. On the other extreme are things too emotionally upsetting to talk about – death, murder, crime, geeky/creepy stuff. Either extreme will not grab or retain a woman’s interest. In the middle is the sweetspot, (a term used in golf to describe the best spot of the club that gives you the greatest contact with the ball) - something familiar enough to not be weird or uncomfortable, and yet unique enough to peak their interest.
So find topics and items to discuss that aren’t lame and boring on one end – creepy or scarey on the other.
2. Challenge
Women love to be challenged. If they have an opinion, challenge it. If they act like they are know it alls – confident in their appearance, attire, discussion, attitude – tweak it. A part of them cannot resist being put to the test. But beware! Its also a signal to them that its ‘game on’ and they will challenge you right back. Perhaps tease you, insult you – they may do this up front – you need to be ready to respond with a shrug, without overeacting.
3. Testing/Confidence
You pass the test and demonstrate confidence by being in control of the situation – no matter whats thrown at you, you can handle it. It conveys strength, calm, humor – very endearing qualities to women.
4. Excitement
Sort of goes back to the first point – women look for excitement, playful excitement. They want to be where the action is – dynamics going one way – you throw them a curve ball. Hey look at this – its unique and different. Hey someones laughing over there – someones having a great time! You need to be one of those guys having a good time, by giving others a good time. Change your own frame – instead of going out with ‘Im looking for some action’ painted on your forehead, put yourself in the frame of ‘My goal is to make a woman smile.’ Excitement builds interest, interest builds attraction. The best way to build excitement, the release of emotional energy, is to make them smile with anticipation and a little anxiety.
New interactions are filled with anxiety by their nature. Use that anxiety to your advantage!
5. Playful Sexual Intrigue
Sexual intrigue is a great theme to dealve into. Many guys think of sex and think of raunchy explicit terms and themes. Its been said that women are in many ways even more sexual in nature then men – however their frame comes in the form of implicit, smoldering, teasing, themes of reproduction. Think of this frame – again use it to your advantage.
Sexual intrigue is a fantastic thing to build with a woman. And again it can be done playfully – in this vein Im referring really to a verbal exchange – the things you say which may seem innocent enough, and with props that appear endearing enough, but may hold some other meaning entirely.
I find it very useful to imply things, and let the women talk explicitly. You keep your language tame – let her get raunchy. Its all part of the fun.
6. Appropriate Intimacy
These steps are unique in that they engage your interaction physically. Much talk has been put out about whether or not it’s a good idea to touch a woman early on in your interactions. The great thing about these three steps is that they all engage a woman physically – however they do so in a way that’s again not threatening, teasing, careful yet confident. All very endearing, charming qualities to subcommunicate right out of the shoot.
Intimacy here is the touching of a woman’s hand – done gracefully, assuringly. Done right – trust me you will have more hands in your face than you will know what to do with.
I modify the term ‘intimacy’ with ‘appropriate’ because here again it needs to strike a balance - too much physical contact, unwanted or agressive - communicates anger, hostility, even violence which will scare or put off a woman. Please dont be scarey.
7. Comfort
Comfort here actually means a lot of different things – first off these routines give you an ‘out’ if you’re in real trouble (angry boyfriend comes up), woman is married and her husband is cool with it but yeah he’s there and she’s still married, the girl is absolutely a dull or on the other extreme so weird and crazy that there’s no way to connect. So in that way these steps ensure you comfort in mind and body to get in and out of a situation relatively clean.
The second way as it applies to you as well – in that these techniques give you an opportunity to really size up what kind of woman you’re dealing with. Is she responsive and open to the interaction? Hostile? Or as you progress – does she have a good sense of humor, is she fun loving or lame? Does she test you so much that its simply not worth that much effort? Remember especially in a bar – there are always new opportunities. While its overboard to work a room table to table (looking like some cheesy showman), you are in charge of your reality – you can close at the end of a trick, 30 seconds in and move on without any grief. Ive got super endings that leave an interactions pleasant enough and clean enough for you to move on. No hard feelings. This is very powerful for you as you assess your options.
The third – is about her. These steps subcommunicate yeah I’m going to tease you, have some fun with you, but I wont hurt you. I wont embarrass or humiliate you in a way that will really upset you.
8. Humor
Humor is universally engaging, entertaining. Again the three steps I will layout for you provide you with humor that while suggestive is not explicit, not crude – things that instantly turnoff almost all women. Humor that’s good natured, not pushy but done in a relaxing-yet-engaging way is very powerful, and something for you to seek out in your interactions.
Look at any female online dating profile – almost all will say they are looking for a man with a sense of humor. Another note on humor – its got to be conveyed almost immediately. Think of a comedian’s act – they say its imperative to have a great joke out of the shoot – like within the first 30 seconds to start their routine. In this vein a joke out within the first 30 seconds will sub communicate ‘hey-this guys got a sense of humor’ – then sprinkling jokes and teasing jibes in every now and again maintains that quality for you.
Mastering these 8 components right up front will communicate the most endearing qualities about you.
- Razr
www.GreatestIceBreakerEver.com
About Razr
With a background in entertainment, illustration, life coaching, marketing and web technology, Razr is one of the primary authors behind StraightRazr.com, living in the Bay Area.
Razr has mastered successful approaching techniques as a nightclub walkaround entertainer and psychic, and shares many of his decoding secrets through StraightRazr’s lifestyle coaching program for men.
Razr is a Certified Conscious Dating Coach; adding even greater insight to his unique, clear-cut perspective on attire, physical and emotional health as they relate to successful relationships.
For more information, visit StraightRazr.com