Wedding Day Blues: "Buyer’s Remorse"
By: Debbie Jensen
Should the average middle class person be spending several thousand dollars on an event they cannot afford or might not work out? Is planning an expensive, elaborate wedding appropriate for a person who is barely getting by and survives on a tight, modest income? Many people have asked my opinion about the sky-rocketing cost of weddings and receptions and are baffled at what to do. From what I saw from my twenty year career as a wedding photographer, most people feel obligated to finance and provide a traditional wedding day for their family and friends.
I spent years selling the American dream and was very much part of wedding day hype and promotions—my livelihood was at stake. However, the wedding business is now only part of my past. In looking back, I feel I can see the whole picture a little bit clearer now (even though there are so many different aspects to consider).
In behalf of future generations, I wish to see expensive traditional weddings, as we know it today, become a “thing of the past.” I say this, because the average person struggles financially, and traditional weddings are a tremendous financial burden for those who feel obligated to finance them.
To be honest, I think young couples would be better served if the money spent on huge, expensive wedding days went instead towards more practical things. Let’s face it, most young couples prior to getting married, struggle financially. Many bridal couples are still in school or have just graduated with huge student loans to pay; and most often, they are strapped with small children as they approach the alter, so to speak.
As a wedding photographer, I saw a lot of heartache and stress for everyone involved. Traditional weddings could be “warm and fuzzy” if the bride and groom’s families and bridal parties (and friends) were perfect little angels and divorce was taboo! But in today’s society, conflict between family members is at an all-time high. Sadly, family conflict can taint wedding memories.
In today’s society, where money is short and wants are extreme, how can the average person feel good about the whole affair after all is said and done? Believe me, more often than not, the average person showed “buyer’s remorse” by the time the wedding album was complete. Food for thought! (revised 2/14/2006)
Debbie Jensen, Graphic Designer and Photographer http://www.debjensendesigns.com